dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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