Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
