that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
