I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
