Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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