I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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