he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
