I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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