currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
