2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
