hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
