i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
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She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
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He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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