you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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