You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
