It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
