i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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