On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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