hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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