I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I need to stop coming to work sober
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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