Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
