The brown eye won't let me do that either.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
