Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
3pm strippers are depressing
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
