I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i out mim tonsoeep
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