Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
