one two three fourrrrnication!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
