So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
