YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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