i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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