I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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