you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
