He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...