Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(+07): View more from

tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

Fav 34 5578 1272
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.

Fav 19 1181 5064
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.

Fav 34 1132 6189
share tweet
(301): View more from Maryland

I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.

Fav 19 3511 1567
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.

Fav 9 3259 1289
share tweet
(650): View more from California

lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses

Fav 12 1443 955
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.

Fav 13 899 1952
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...

Fav 0 729 480
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs

Fav 0 56 21
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT