He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol