Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
