I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
