you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
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dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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