His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
