how can u be prego again
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
