Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He passed out mid-signature
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
