dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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