The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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