Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
