Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
