I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
