youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
