If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
