Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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