Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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