he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
