Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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