Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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