normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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