If that was your dad, he is hot
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
