you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
