you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
