porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
