Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
