Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
