rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
